Rushing

Rushing rushing to and fro
eyes down, head bent low

Rushing rushing tons of miles,
no one speaks, no one smiles

Rushing rushing fun and strife
that's the college way of life


So the last two days I have been in an extremely wonderful mood. I've just been happy to be alive on God's wonderful green earth! I was in bed by 11 last night and asleep by 11:30. I slept in until 9:15! It was wonderful! And I'm going to bed here really soon! But right now I just love life!

Bible verse of the night: Romans 12:1 "Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-the is your spiritual act of worship."

Frustrated

Sometimes life is so frustrating. Take the first month of my life as a collegiate. I am a theatre and film major. I have auditioned for essentially five shows and have not made one yet. I know my expectations shouldn't be very high because I am only a freshman, but this is the first semester in three years that I haven't been involved in a show. To top things off my best friend in the entire world auditioned for two shows and made both of them. Needless to say I'm a little jealous. I mean its not even his major. Granted we go to different schools and his school is a lot smaller. I'm just frustrated that as a theatre and film major I'm not getting to do any shows. For all of my auditions i've been called back which stinks because that means I was good, just not good enough. It really brings up some questions about my worth as an actress. I know I know I'm letting the drama queen in me take over but I can't help feeling frustrated. I know that I am acting for God. That is my mission in life. But how can I act for God if I'm not acting at all? UGH! Plus there is the normal stress of school and homework and trying to find a social life. Please pray for me that I will trust God completely and that he would consume my mind, my heart, my life, and everything I exude.

Bible verse of the day: Psalm 126:5-6 "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."

"Friends Forever"

Friendship is an interesting concept. You think you have it all figured out and the wham, bam, slam, it tricks you and you find yourself in a completely new place trying once again to define friendships and the people that are involved in them. A friend is the kind of person who would go an immersuable distance just to see you in person, wouldn't they? A friend would drive with you while you go pick up your girlfriend, then sit w/ you and play solitare so you and your girlfriend could have time alone, wouldn't they? A friend would talk for hours on the phone with you while you cry just because they couldn't be there in person, wouldn't they? A friend would try and rush to the airport even if she knew deep down she was going to miss your flight, wouldn't they? What is a friend? Who knows? I sure don't anymore. SOme of my "closest" friends are redefining my definition of friendship. And some of those who i wasn't very close to are redifining my definition of friendship. One for the bad and one for the good. Maybe this is just one of those hard learned lessons of growing up, but i certainly don't like it at all. If redifining friendship means redifining myself to please other people then I don't want any part of it. But if there are people who love me just they way I am, and no matter where I am then they are my true friends. And may God bless them. I hope this lesson is learned soon so I don't have to deal with it long. It makes things hard. Or maybe friendship is sacrifice. Am I not sacrificing enough to be worthy of friendship? Who knows, but its too late now to work myself into a twit about it. So I won't, kinda, ok maybe I already did. Sacrifice-funny word.

Bible verse of the night: John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life."

Wow What a friend we have in Jesus!