Apologizing

Today I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I did it on my own without anyone prompting me too. I apologized. I've had a huge crush on one of my best friends for a really long time. He knew about it, but he started dating someone else. I was a really b*#^h to his girlfriend. I went as far as to tell her that I didn't think she was his cinderella. I know I know how do you ever say anything so mean? Well I did, along w/ some other pretty hurtful stuff. That was back in January. Well its now April, and they are still dating and as he put it, he is "twitterpated." I can tell that he really likes her a lot, and it tears my heart to pieces. Today I took the girlfriend out to dinner, and she and I just talked. I told her how sorry I was for being such a jerk and that I didn't hate her. I just took my frustrations out on her because she won the guy. Love makes us do crazy things. When I got home, I lost it and started bawling. I hate having to apologize, I hate more that she is right, and even more I hate that I know it was right, yet I still feel awfully alone. Just because I apologized doesn't solve my lack of companionship. And I still really hurt, but I know I did the right thing. Why does sometimes the right thing hurt so bad? I don't understand at all... I know, its a growing process, and in the end all of our pain will be taken away when Jesus calls us home, but tell that to my aching heart. I just want to love someone who loves me the same way.

So if its you this post is about, I'm sorry for the hell I put you through, and I hope that one day you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Verse of the night: 1 Corinthians 1: 27-31 "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God-that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.'"

Prom Remix

I really wanted to find a font close to the color of my dress, but this green is too seafomy. Excuse my grammar! So now I am kind of excited about prom, kind of not. Some of my best friends are going off on their own, and I really will miss them. I got a date, who happens to be my best friend. I don't mind going with him, in fact I'm kind of excited about it, but its not going to be the sweep me off my feet romantic Senior Prom I had dreamt about. I mean my buddy will make is romantic in that sense of he will do the best thing a best friend could do, but its still not a night where I will find "true love!"

Yes I believe in true love, I just don't know where its hiding right now. It seems that everyone around me is becoming the peorson they are supposed to be as an adult. I have mixed feelings about the whole situation. I mean I want to grow up and start my own life, but part of me longs to stay just where I am. I know that God wants each of us to grow in Him, but I also don't want to lose what is good. But I can't be afraid. Once again quote me on all of the above.

Well I'm going to sleep for a while, since I didn't go to bed until 2:30 last night thanks to my AP English class! YUCK! Actually I like English, just not all of the work!

Verse of the day: John 10:10 "The theif comes only to steal ad kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

The Joys and Pitfalls of the P-Word (Prom)

Prom, I have grown to love and hate the word all at the same time! It really stinks when your senior prom is not going the way you thought it would. You know the two guys you really want to go with both have dates, they aren't coming to dinner with you, and you end up going with your best friend. Which isn't all that bad, you know you just won't have that special kiss goodnight. I got the dress, one hassle out of the way, but when I showed it to one of the guys I like he was like "ok i've seen it you can take it off now so I can go home!" Not the reaction I was really looking for. And what really stinks are freshman girls. I never got to go to prom before I was a junior and senior they shouldn't be allowed to come either. But then again Prom is the best dance all year, and i love to dance, even though my friends think I'm completely uncordinated. Well two words for them... HOT BOX! When were any of them dancers in a musical and had to work their butts off. Excuse me they weren't. Sorry randomness. So back to prom, who knows about dinner plans, who knows how we're getting there, who knows if I'm going to make it through the night without crying. Probably not! So anyway prom AHAHAHHAH.

Its ok, I mean does it really matter in the long run. Quote me on that cuz I'm having trouble believeing it.

Verse of the night: Psalm 45:9-15, I'm not going to type it all cuz Its long, but if you are a girl I suggest looking it up. It really makes you feel special about being one of the "Kings daughters"

Good night and may God bless!

My formal Hello

Hello Blogging world-

This is my first blog, and I'm putting a disclaimer on it immediately. This will probably be one of those blogs where I will either make someone extremely happy or anger someone very quickly. I plan on posting on issues that I deem relevant at the time. Seeing as how I am currently in high school many of my posts will revolve around the drama of high school, and what I think should be done differently. But occasionally there will be a few posts on my political views and personal beliefs because I tend to be a very political person. So you know sit back and enjoy the rantings of a high school senior getting ready to venture into the world for the first time on their own.

A note to all my friends out there. I'm sure if you know me you will find my rantings funny and probably have much to say to me. You know since I have no free time to keep this up, you will probably have heard all of my thoughts many times before. Oh well its always good to see them in writing.

My verse of the day: hopefully on every post I will end with a Bible verse that is relevant to my life at the time. I hope that it inspires hope into the world around me. Maybe this new tool of communication can help the world see that I serve a living and loving God, yet one who is just and powerful. I love Him and can't wait to share my beliefs with this crazy cyber world.

So I think I'll wrap up for today, you know its Friday night, and I'm the type that has nothing to do except start my homework for the weekend. So I'll leave you with this verse. One of my personal favorites, and probably the inspiration behind my outgoing personality.

"Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!" Hebrews 13:2 May God Bless you All